GC Therapist and Life Coach, Glenn Oakes shares his five rules for ensuring your honeymoon stays sweet...
Whether it's your first time alone together, or you and your beloved have been living together for years, marriage is a big, stressful step. And weddings? With the massive outlay of money, the pre-ceremony dieting, the people wrangling, the arguing, the seating arrangements, the slights real, imagined and unavoidable, the over-indulging, the post-ceremony second thoughts, the wild friends, the crazy relatives, it's a true testament to the power of love (or maybe denial) that most couples don't exit their reception, climb into that crepe-paper-and-tin-can festooned automobile and drive off the nearest cliff.
My point is that while weddings are incredibly stressful, honeymoons shouldn't be. And whether it's a three-month grand tour of Europe, or a week in a pop-up camper at the nearest KOA, your honeymoon should be your time to relax with your mate, congratulate yourselves on getting through the wedding, and luxuriate in what may be the only block of time in your entire life where the rest of the human race is under strict instructions not to bother you and your partner unless doing so is an unavoidable component of an effort to make your day even more enjoyable. Even under the best of circumstances, however, things can go pear-shaped on a honeymoon. Here's five tips to keep PWS (Post-Wedding Stress) from bleeding into what should be a romantic getaway...
1. Keep it light: This is not the time to start ruminating over Big Questions like when and whether to "start a family," or who's going to take care of Mom if she gets too frail to take care of herself, or how to plan properly for the effects of Global Warming. This is the time to think about things like what to order for dinner, whether you need more sunscreen, or is the bathtub really big enough for two people? Focus on the little things and let the Big Questions resolve themselves without you.
2. Resist the temptation to let your hair down. Far too many people decide that once they've tied the knot they can finally relax and let that carefully-groomed, well-mannered facade fade into oblivion. Unless you're hoping for a short, and not-particularly-sweet marriage, both of you are strongly advised to continue to put your best foot forward. Nobody wants to marry a butterfly only to wake up next to a garden slug the next morning. There's a difference between intimacy and sloth.
3. Make time for "couples stuff." A long walk is a great way for both of you to experience the sheer joy of being with this person you've committed to. Other options: take turns reading to each other from a favorite book, give each other massages, wash each other's hair, surprise each other with inexpensive, thoughtful gifts or keepsakes - and when the honeymoon's over, keep doing exactly this. There is nothing like a small, thoughtful, intimate gesture to make someone feel prized.
4. Spice it up. Try something new in the Honeymoon Suite. If your honeymoon is a traditional one, don't feel like you have to rush and don't feel like everything has to "happen" the first night. When it comes to intimacy, the process of getting to know each other "in that way" is half the fun. If it's not your first time at the rodeo, think of something different you've always fantasized about and see if your partner is game. You may take your love life in a new direction, or, you may discover that some fantasies as best left just that. Either way, you both share a new experience that will either have you breathing heavy every time you think of it, or trying not to laugh out loud.
5. Listen. Instead of trying to make yourself heard and understood, take this time to see how well you can hear and understand your partner. You may emerge from your honeymoon with a whole bunch of useful information which will prove invaluable as you navigate your way through what may be one of our culture's most satisfying and challenging institutions.
Bon Voyage! Dr. Glenn
Comments
I have been watching the young and the restless for 30 years. I have to say that in the last 2 years, I feel that the story lines are stupid, sorry and ridiculous. I do not like Victor leaving at all. I feel that the actor Adam and the story lines is riduculous. I stopped watching the Young.
Nick is just following in his mom and dads footsteps. Nick and Sharon will be on again/off again forever. I am, however, very dissapointed in the writers, slandering Neils image and introducing a GAY actor. It's only natural that if they killed off Shiela that they would create a new villian in Mary Jane Benson.
I have been watching this story for over 20 years now and I have to say that what is going on on Y&R has to be the worst writing ever. This s/l with Nick and Sharon is disgusting. Neither of them are concerned about what this is doing to Noah and Nick doesn't seem to care about Summer at all. It's completely out of character as well, Nick loved Phyllis and that has been obvious until this new writer took over. No man would leave the wife that he laughs and smiles with more, runs a business with, has fun, makes him feel alive, and has the best sex with for the woman he threw over twice so he could be with said wife. It's ridiculous!!! And Sharon has lost her ever loving mind. What happened to how much she'd grown in the last couple years, actually have a spine and a brain and now she's back to being that whiny bobblehead who is incomplete if a man is not between her legs. And even Phyllis has been whiny like her lately. Victor an astute businessman has suddenly lost his intuitiveness and can't seem a scam from a mile away. Ashley's brain is now made of jello and she's consistently being manipulated by this young fool when she used to scam with the best of them, come on. Adam is now a sadistic freak who cleans up fetuses up the floor and throws them in the fire, and cleans up Ashley too. Does anybody realize just what that would entail and how disturbing it is. Even core characters who have been moral compasses have been compromised like Neil, I mean even he;s a hoe now. All these people do now is bed hop with no actual reason or story development. What happened to plot driven storylines and well written stories that had some basis in reality. I mean how many FBI stakeouts have no agents actually watching the alley? Or how about the fact that the way Daniel's hand slid across the gun his prints would only be on the edge, thus proving his claim. Or the fact that there is no powder residue on his hand. What kind of FBI agents are these. And what writer actually wrote that crap Nina was spewing. The military doesn't let you continue to combat on the field if they suspect you have a serious disease and it isn't your decision on getting tested for things like that in the service either. The military has strict guidelines, ones that actually became stricter in recent months because of the over abundance of people joining. Nothing that is going on onscreen makes a bit of sense. It's like MAB and the other newbies have never watched this show before because everyone is out of character. Things like this are proven by what the characters say like Nina telling Amber she has never had a writing partner before when she did in fact have one, Cole Howard. It was how their affair started. I've already seen that the numbers have shifted down and I hope the writer's realize this will only continue if this is the type of garbage they try to feed us from what was a creative and cutting edge show that has stayed #1 because of their ability to write decent, thought provoking, intelligent, steamy but not uncouth, sensual, love in the daytime, cutting edge stories. I hope if the show continues on this path Sony and CBS will step in and correct it, starting with the writing team if necessary. All of the characters are being done an injustice right now and Phyllis and Nick are two on the very top of that list. These new writers are tarnishing the history of the couple that was declared by TV Guide as the most popular couple on Y&R to date. Why would you want to throw away a goldmine???
Hey Sharon is the victim - Phyllis' victim - remember Nick was married to Sharon and they had children b-4 Phyllis came into the picture - Phyllis knew what she was doing and took advantage of Nick when he was grieving the loss of his and Sharon's daughter...so hats off to Nick and Sharon for putting things back the way they should be and should have never stopped being - and sorry Phyllis but Jack is more your style and she needs to get back with him - they are made for each other - just as Sharon and Nick are made for each other....as well as Victor and Nikki (sorry Paul - Paul is a good guy and I think he will be yet hurt again but he is always very strong) -- and Billy and Mac were meant to be so (Raul needs to know now so he does not get too) -- Lilly and Cane are great together, so Cane needs to come clean with Lilly before her trust is blown in him again, if it is not too late.
Love the show, been watching since the beginning. uh-oh now are Phyllis and Maryjane going 2 b pregnant by Jack???
I have to say, I have been watching Y&R since I was a little girl and I am very disappointed in the Nick and Sharon Story. Nick has always seemed like a level headed guy and now he is willing to leave Phyllis for a woman who can't even stop sleeping around and now has three daddy's to chose from because of it. Wait till he finds out that he is contender number three. I am sorry, she needs a swift kick in the butt and Nick needs to wake up. I definately don't feel sorry for her, you reap what you sow, now pay for your actions. As for Phyllis, she deserves better, yes she has done some pretty messed up things in the past, but she genuinely loves Nick and is very hurt, why she fell back into bed with Jack is beyond me, but I think she just needs to do for herself and Summer. Billy and Mac need to get back together cause that is drama waiting to happen and I don't want to see Raul get hurt later after they are married. Too much chemistry between Mac and Billy, they were each other's first love and he can't get over her... Sorry Chloe, you can't compete.....
I wonder what is going on with cane,What ever it is Lilly will be upset.The love,and trust from him that she has will change.I wonder if he is even jills son,and a chanslor.Nina i think is going to dig down deep to find out something.
What is with everyone feeling sorry for Phyllis?! I can't stand her- she is a nasty little vixen and I am hoping that Nick leaves her. Sorry, its just how i feel. lol
Why are people taking Phylis's side!? She is the one who broke up Nick and Sharon in the first place. She is getting what she deserves,what goes around comes around!! Sharon and Nick belong together and always have!
KUDOS to Phyllis for telling Jack the truth that Sharon might possibly be pregnant with Billy's baby. What a first class mess. It's about time Jack learned the truth about Sharon. She walks around with this attitude that she is a victim and trying to make everyone feel sorry for her and that she is so innocent. She's not innocent, she smart and calculating. There is one thing for sure she wants Nick back. Phyllis might as well pack Nick's clothes because I'm sure he is leaving her.
Phyllis needs to get over Nick already. He is immature and he doesn't know who he wants to be with.
I just wanted to say, I really think that Cain is a creep and eventually his true colors are going to be revealed. For the Cain and Lily fans out there, I have a feeling that you guys are going to get your hearts broken. I say this because I don't believe Cain to be the nice, sweet guy he appears to be and with Nina pushing this story idea about the baby switch, I think the hard, ugly truth is going to expose Cain for the lying manipulative con artist he is. I feel bad that Lily is once again going to have her heart broken, but she has a family that loves her, so I'm sure they'll get her through it. BTW, I am so glad Jack finally knows the truth about Sharon and Billy. As much as I don't want to see Phyllis suffer, and as much as I loved Nick and Phyllis together as a couple, they've lost their spark because of Nick's constant betrayal to Phyllis, so I've come to realize that Nick doesn't deserve Phyllis so I think she needs to move on and find someone who will appreciate and respect her and not keep treating her like a doormat. Nick and Sharon deserve each other, all they care about is themselves so they're a perfect match in that regard. I just want Phyllis to get back to her happy, spunky self.
I am so glad that Y & R is bringing people back from the past. Nina and Raul for example. I love Raul so hopefully he'll stay put for awhile. As far as Chloe and Billy go, I really think that Chloe should cut her losses. With Billy constantly disrespecting her, I think it would be in her best interest to get the marriage annulled. After all she did tell Cain the only name that means anything to her is mom, not Chancellor or Abbott, so here's her chance to prove it. What I can't understand is Chloe is a smart girl so why is she allowing herself to be disrespected and treated poorly? In conversations with Mac and Amber she basically sticks up for his behavior calling him immature, but seriously, that's a load of crap. Billy is an adult, he knows what he's doing, and for her to cover like that for him, is just ridiculous. That relationship just needs to end. Now whether or not he ends up with Mac, who cares, the point is neither one of them are happy so something needs to give because that storyline is getting boring. Same stuff happens everyday it seems like. Chloe and Billy fight, Billy runs out looking for Mac, Billy and Mac kiss, Mac slaps Billy, then Mac calls Billy, Chloe confronts Billy, Billy gets mad, storms out, goes after Mac again, it's a vicious boring cycle that needs to end already. Am I the only one that feels this way?
I love this show so much....it's the best soap on television. i love Nick and Sharon and cant wait for them to end up back together
I'm curious about MJ and what she and Victor is up to, Paul is on to her, and I love it. Who the hell is she? Love Nick in that shirt on 5/22/09, sexy. The best part of the show was when he and Sharon met at the cemetery, perfect ending. Cant wait to see next weeks episode, great job!yupee.......
Sharon needs to get a life and stop mooning over Nick !!!
PHYLIS,I LOVE THIS SHOW.I LOVE RESTLESS STYLE.THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SOAPS ON THE AIR.I LOVE ALL THE STARS ON THE SHOW BUT YOUR MY FAVORITE,OF THE LADIES AND OF THE GUYS MY FAVORITE ARE MICHEAL,KEVIN,JACK,NICK,CANE.THANKS FOR A GREAT JOB WELL DONE.YOUR FAN CAROLINE.
I am happy Raul is back. It wasn't a surprise that he was the guy Mac was talking about. But it is gonna be an intersting summer. I know that Nick is gonna go back to Sharon. I think he has stonger feelings for Sharon than Phylis. Phylis needs a new love interest somebody who will spice her life up.
I just wanted to say I have been watching young and the restless for about 28yrs...I love it.
I think it's time that Phyllis opens her eyes, & stops making a fool of herself (as usual) and leaves Nick alone... everyone knows they were never good for one another, Phyllis knows it too, but she just refuses to let it go... Nick and Sharon weather they end up together or not, for now they need each other and the more Phyllis & Jack try to convince them otherwise the more they will push them together, Phyllis your too old for Nick and "the jig is up" wake-up and smell the coffee, walk away and remember where one window closes a hundred doors open,move on!!!!
IT'S TIME!!!!!!
Love the mag! Love the show! Always something to keep me watching!!Keep up the great work!
With Adam's history, I don't understand how Victor Neuman is ruling Adam out as a suspect on this latest venture to put Ashley in the looney bin.